yahhh
the best part abt christmas is the log cake
i love log cake

the worst part is that the yr is ending
T-T
what ? i'm growing older already ? i do not even remember what i did this year !
these are the thoughts that run through my head

i hate the new year
i hate growing old
i hate that i'm not doing something more awesome
i hate that i'm stuck in my life
i hate being less than ordinary

i love cake, ice cream, chocolates

I should spend less money on food
That way
I can lose weight
And not be broke

HmmHmmm
School just ended, but the new yr is coming soon, which means school is gonna start again
T-T
Wanna take gender this sem
Wondering whether I shld take 5/6 courses
Mmmmmm
Dunno
Shall think abt that later -___-""

omgomgomg

I AM FREE XD ~dances around, flails arms
HHAAAAAAAAAA
i am happy (:
hehe this sem's exams were a little more stressful
and i basically went into each exam with a very blank mind

but i can't change anything now
so i shall just be happy

HAHAHA
omo i wanna take korean nxt sem XD

wonder whether i should/could

shall go be happy now (before work starts T-T)

Yo Yo Yo
Hehe
I've not blogged for so long
Life has been good
Tiring, but I'm feeling happy, and that's all tht matters
I should probably put in more effort in sch
Shld suffer more to get better grades

I am very lucky to be able to feel so happy
Many pple seem to constantly be in an emo mood

After much thought, I've decided that life is not as hopeless as it seems
I should work harder for what I want

I have no idea why I'm feeling so positive now -___-""
may revert back tmr XP

Hello world
I'm still in the same state as when I last blogged
Still working at Sakae (but gotten scarily used to it)
Studying a little (reading at least one reading per week per course)
Slacking a little (wld love to slack more tho)
And still uber fatteh

So nothing much

life's been boring
work sleep stone tv
school has finally started today
dun really feel anything about it
at least i won't be as bored

Back

Finally back home
It was a great trip
The dive sites visited this time round were really beautiful
Saw tons of really nice corals
And nudibranches, shrimps, starfishes, stingrays and of course tons of fishes
Even went for one night dive which was cool
The rest managed to see a turtle but I wasn't there, uber disappointed
:(
The other divers were mostly really old
There were some really pro ones, some absolutely noobie, some irritating
But I enjoyed myself with ws, debs and j
Hehe
Need to work tmr kns dun feel like going
:P but I need ze moolahs
Tsk
Cheerios

great times

Ok, several things happened through this past mth, and now, attempting to use all the powers of my rotted brain, I shall try to recall them all now

1) zoo with xq and aud
It was aud's bday, and she got a 'have a wild bday" badge
We visited basically everything worth visiting, and only left out the hornedbilled bird, and the mandrill
The rest that we didn't see was either coz they were sick/away
It was a great zoo trip coz we met up super early and we ended at just the right time
We mangaed to catch all the shows, xq and aud went for the elephant ride, And there were not so many butts captured on photo
And I guess that's that
A great time spent with the right pple

2) inception with Sharmin, aud and xq
It was a nice movie, an though there was a part where I didn't really catch what the Ellen page character said, I dun really get why so many pple are discussing/exclaiming that it is hard to understand
Seriously
Maybe I'm just too dumb to get the deeper meaning or whatevs
But srsly getting the movie ain't gonna make my life better

3) sharmin's bday outing w/tpp
We met early to do the book/card
And aud lent me her bracelets (omg I want myself some clang clangs now)
xq and me went to bakerzin to get the cake
Tiramisu, yumyum
Am tempted to get a cake frm there now since there's a 30% discount now
Sharmin treated u to putien
Yums yet again
Loved the yam balls omg
Wanna go back there just for them lol
Took a neoprene which turned out weird :P

4)work
Ok srsly I dun really wanna remember this
All I can say is that I'm uber slow and cuided at work
I conclude that I'm just a really slow and steady person, and that I have to find a job that suits that

Tmr am gonna set off for tioman yet again
Can't wait to dive yet again
Hope I dun panick/die/drown/do anything stupid
Ok
Done, too tired just came back frm work
Cheerios

Omg I just realized I'm doing the full shift on Friday T-T
NOOOO
Can't watch SHINee's comeback live
D:

Walking.Jogging.Running

Haha
Just ran 2.4km for the first time in 2/3 years
Did it in 23mins -___-""
totally fail lol
But at least I jogged the whole way
Shall improve my timing slowly :P
Hehehe

On another note
SHINee's comeback most prolly this friday
Most prolly becoz minho's still hurt and might not be able to dance therefore there's this slightest chance that they'll delay their comeback again
But anyways
I'm working this Friday !!!! Ahhhh
I hope they're in the first half of the show omg
So that I'd be able to watch them live
Omgomgomgonewisfuckinghot
Onewonewonewonewonewonewonewonewonew
Hehehe
Hais if I miss becoz of work, I'd be sadded and anxious whilst working T-T

onewonewonewonewonewonewonewonewonew

Ok
Have worked for 2 days
Only 8.5 hrs
But I feel half dead lol
It's not exactly physically tiring
But there's so much happening around
My head hurts everytime I end work
Keep table, clean table, take orders, settle bills, send out orders, wipe this clear that.
Hurh
Nothing really bad has happened so far, except that i clear tables too slowly :P
Hope all goes well the rest of my stay there.

Back in Singapore

haha
I'm back
Diving was really fun and cool
It's basically just go there and eat, sleep and dive.
Though I disliked the times when we were on the surface and everyone's talking and socializing
and I'm just there emo-ing and stoning
And gearing up is utterly irritating
But once underwater
It's like
Wow
Wa
Whoa

Wide eyed wonder everywhere you turn
Even at times when there's really nothing much to see, it's still uber cool to be underwater
And the best thing is
There is no talking
Haha totally happy (:
Wanna go dive again soon
Advanced course next need to work to earn enough money
There's a new goal (Which also means needing a bigger sum of money) for me haha
Can't wait

Wow
wonder girls are performing for this year's singfest
they seem to be coming to singapore alot recently
hmmm
when will snsd come ?
Haha
though I dun think I'd go see them, it's nice to think that they're in Singapore
and shinee (:

diving is this Friday to next Monday
sadly, I'm not feelin all that enthusiastic
diving has made me less able to find a job(ok maybe it's just that I'm picky abt my jobs), have $800(for the trip, the contacts, and the misc stuff I have to get) less in my bank account, and it is seriously traumatizing me becoz I didn't do well during the training session in the pool
the thought of going into the sea
the expanse
is just scaring me
I dun know what to feel
all I can do now is go forward and hope I do better in the actual dives
hope I dun die

sleepy

recruit express agent called me at 9.30 just now
Asked me whether i have a laptop, i said yes
Asked me whether i was still interested in a job, i said yes
Told me of a one mth admin job, i said ok
Told me it's in loyang and asked if i was ok, i said should be
she asked agn, told me to check on my laptop, hello i didn't say my laptop was on/beside me (i didn't say anything but replied that i didn't know wherebloyamg was)
She helped me check, she said it'll take a long time, asked if i was ok
Told me that work started at 8.45am then asked if i was ok, i said should be ok
Then she asked whether i just woke up, i said yes
Then she just asked me to "shop around" and she'd "call me again" then put down the phone.
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
•____•
I just had to blog becoz my life is so boring that this is the only things i can blog abt
•____•
Anyday would be fine calling me at such a time
But i just stayed up till 5am the previous night reading the dive manual
And i was set to wake up at 11.30
Ok she doesn't know that but still
fucking agent called me just to ask me whether i want a job when she thinks the location doesn't suit me
Hello
Wouldn't it waste you less time if you checked before calling pple ?
And she knew loyang is at pasir ris
Any normal person would know that hougang to pasir ris is crazy
If you're gonna think and make a decision yourself that i'm not going to want the job
Why the fuck did you call me ?
Fucker
And she's only called me one other times, retail job at zara (which is srsly screwed since she saw me b4 and nobody in their right mind would link me to zara)
that recruitment agent is srsly screwed up (or tired, to give her a benefit of doubt, but mostly likely a little fucked up too no matter what)
Urgh
Cranky post since i'm so tired
Shall go back to sleep now
Find a job when i wake up
Coz i know that there's a 99% chance that she won't ever call me again
I'm not that naive
coz i'm not going to shop around first while waiting for her call

wha... ?

huh
no job
no money
no clothes
no money
nothing to do

bumming around is nice
but it is getting boring
-o-
what's more i was the one who was raring for a job when the vacation started
feeling really lousy now
nobody wants me
T-T

watched naruto to the latest episode, can't wait for the next to be available
watching eyeshield 21 to pass time
playing maple almost every day (but getting bored)
finished reading five people you meet in heaven
read jane auston's persuasion half way (quite good)
playing patapon 2 on psp
playing rune factory again on the ds

all in all
very zai nu
and getting fatter and lazier and dumber

need a job soon

badu

the job interview was weird
it was one on one and the person was sitting too close
and it was on a random small round metal table
so not formal
but at the same time i think that girl was trying to be formal
didn't really respond well (seriously i didn't like the atmosphere)
so i guess i ain't getting it

on a side note
who carries such a big handphone trinket(dun even know what to call it) ?

LOL now i bet all the hardcore onew fans are gonna buy that and put it on their phones (some have already bought it, srsly they posted the pics)
HAHAHA at least it won't be hard to find your phone :P
friggin cute though, it reminds me that he's the same age
keep forgetting that (and that the rest of SHINee is way younger than me)
hope that they comeback after the world cup
by than hopefully i'd have gotten a job and worked enough to earn enough to buy their stuff
:P
ok shall stop ranting

psp

Omg i finally found a game on the psp tht i like after such a long time
Haha and the title
Fat Princess
Hahaha i thought it'd be a lame game
And it is
But it's totally entertaining
Hahaha
Playing it the whole day
Play until my psp went dead on me (and i was in the middle of a extremely du lan chapter)
Haha so entertaining that i didn't train my pokemon today :P
Not like i do it everyday but it felt weird
So im gonna go train them now
Gonna have an interview tmr, hope i get the job
Should have started working the start of the month
And i find job find until now kenasai
Untill no moolah have to be stranded at home
Feel irritated not having the money to be able to go out as and when i like
I was so bored to the point that i washed the bathroom yesterday •__•"
I dun even have enough to pay for the rest of the diving trip already
Urgh really hope i get to work soon
Then work for one week and get a little money
There's less then one week actually shit
Need the money

long time no blog

have been sleeping at 2am and waking till 12pm everyday
bumming
stoning
being stagnant

need to go exercise
sighs
need a job
need a job
need a job

no one wants me

Brownies :)

YAY !!!!
i finally baked those brownies yesterday after much procrastination
and it turned out well :)
so chocolatey :) makes me happy

sleeping positions

[graphic via BBC.com]

Fetus position - A whopping 41% of participants sleep in this curled-up manner. Women are twice as likely to rest like this and it is listed as the most common position. These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.

Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible. The study showed 15% of people sleep like a log.

Yearner position - A close third is the side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body, with 13% of partipants sleeping like this. Yearners are noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.

Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. This 8% study is said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard. Soldier sleepers have a higher likelihood for snoring due to the flat-back position, which may not cause them to wake up often but may result in a less restful night's sleep.

Freefall position - Those people who lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side, make up 7% of the population studied. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.

Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow account for 5% of participants. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention. People who sleep in starfish position are more likely to snore and to suffer from a poor night's sleep more often.

original article: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/what-does-your-sleep-position-reveal-about-your-personality-1338293/#pollId-00F628E0516E11DFA207A34EA49182FB

hmmm
the report says that it's unlikely that people move through the sleeping positions each night
but from my impression (i dun really pay attention to my position when i wake up, usually to cranky too)
i seem to wake up in the soldier position, and yearner and sometimes the foetal position. Or somewhere in between those three.
shall take more notice of how i wake up
it's interesting

Freedom

yeah !!!
finished with exams
finished today's papers earlier and went home straight

kbs world showed the latest, Music Bank, same day broadcast as the koreans
OMG so many comebacks HAHAHA made me happy (:
Rain, Lee Hyori, 2pm
even SNSD's performance today was better than usual :D

played Warcraft (not WoW)
such a thrill

craving for chocolate baked goods now
shall bake brownies tomorrow :D
saw many great recipes on tastespotting, made me drool

can't wait to earn some money though
i need to pay for my diving course and macbook pro (contemplating buying the 17" one)
and i need to lose weight
and also buy clothes
in conclusion i need loadsa money


the snickers brownies looks really good

Family Guy - Stewie Griffin as a news reporter

i know it's bad to laugh at other people's demise
but this is fucking funny omg
esp the women's reaction at the end
i think she's trying to control her laughter
and that guy too
HAHAHA

Omg i can finally blog with my iphone again on opera
Though it's not a very big deal :P
I'm just distracted and not wanna study

Only one week, shit shall go start reading stuff

•___•

regrets

i want to turn back time now
did nothing yesterday even though i'm supposed to have finished at least one presentation

seriously i wish i'm not myself at this time

die

i just realise that next week's gonna be the last week for tutorials
which means that i have 2 presentations on monday and wednesday
and on tuesday i have french oral fml

what's more, for the presentation on monday, it's gonna be on a topic which is gonna be lectured on the same week on thursday
which means i'm presenting without attending the lecture
and the reading that i'm supposed to present on is not even uploaded yet

and the presentation on wednesday is for the tutorial where the teacher is uber strict and i sorta offended her last week
and she'll ask questions that are uber chim
and she said that the reading is difficult (to the extent that it's the only reading with 2 presenters)
so i'm going to die for that

and the french oral
fuck
seriously
interview ?
i think i'm just gonna stare blankly at the teacher when she asks the question
and she's gonna be like writing "fail" on her marking sheet

why the hell does it have to be on the first 3 days of the week ?
why not give me more time and be on the last 3 days of the week
that's two whole extra days
48 hrs which i really need

what the hell
and hello baby is ending this week
which is gonna be uber sad to the max
i really hope they don't comeback this month
there's still no confirmed date (only month was stated) for their comeback
so i'm hoping that they'll push it back
anyways too many big stars are coming back
should wait till july or something (june=world cup=no korean watching music/variety shows)
even may would be fine even though i'd be dead broke

shall stop ranting
need to start
2.5 weeks left

omg my throat died on me
it's swollen
and my voice comes out croaking now
and i have presentation on thurs
hope my voice returns by then

it's only 20 more days to my first paper
and i don't feel like studying
sighs
feel like dying

woke up at 1pm today
and i slept at 3am
10 hours
and i still was able to have an afternoon nap after watching some tv and having brunch
love to sleep

can't wait for summer break to be able to sleep w/o guilt for as long as i like

sleep sleep sleep

ONEW IS SO CUTE
ok sudden outburst
i think he has the most fans
saw him last night on tv
and then saw him again on tv OMG star golden bell
didn't even know that he'll be appearing
it's destined LOL
cute cute cute

shall stop fangirling -__-"" need to do readings

dark rings

have been really tired lately

need to go to bed by 12am coz past that point i'm just a dead fish

and i overslept twice

O__O

lucky tomorrow's good friday

planning to sleep in

then go swimming

now if only SHINee's comeback is delayed till june

would make me feel way better

that i can at least earn some money to buy their stuff

and have time to watch their comeback (:

onew with glasses is drool worthy :P

heh heh heh

SO CUTE !!!!

sighs

french test tmr and i have nothing french related in my brain
screwed up

but am starting to settle down

shall start studying on wednesday
need to get a good night's sleep in first

and stop coming online

and they say SHINee's gonna comeback in april
and that hello baby will end this week
T-T
why comeback during my busiest and most broke month
why end hello baby when onew hasn't even gotten close to the baby

sighs
exams>SHINee
much as i hate it
still contemplating s/u-ing french
will wait till tmr's test is over to decide
have till this friday
how i wish we have nus's s/u system
then i wldn't have to fret abt it now
and it'll be so easy to decide whether to s/u or not

feeling the hate today

today's the first time that i really felt like ponning school
even with tutorial
i just didn't want to go

sighs

the bus i was on broke down
before that, it had rammed it's mirror on another bus, leaving a big scratch on the other bus
made me later than i already was
SICK

I WILL NOT HAVE A FIVE DAY WEEK NEXT SEM
i don't care how i'm gonna do it
i'm just gonna make sure that it's no more than four days per week
it's just friggin tiring to wake up so early and drag myself all the way to the godknowswhere to stone in classrooms
not worth it

I hate my group mates in my only project this sem
the way they think totally clashes with mine
they nitpick at things, and the thing is, the way they change stuff/the suggestions that they make is totally ridiculous/not needed
and the subject they chose is utter bullshit
and the points they come up with is even more bullshit
it's so bull that i've decided to just remain quiet
i did talk in the beginning, but later on it just became pointless to
fuck it i hope that it ain't screwed up

EXAMS ARE COMING SHIT !!!
i have a mountain of readings to do
sians
and i'm definitely gonna s/u french coz i did too badly in the quiz (15% of total marks)
and i know that i'm not gonna do well for the oral portion too
so screw it
gonna concentrate on my core mods which is die die must do well one
AND i have 3 presentations coming up
fuck it i hate talking infront of the class
with the teacher asking questions i'd prolly not even understand to begin with much less answer them

it's about a little more than one month to my freedom on 30th April

i hope all goes well

went popular today

and saw SHINee's Y.O.U mini album on the charts





IT'S #1 !!!!!



yay !!!!!

LOL

i don't believe they never reach 100,000 albums sold

(in singapore they sell how many for the events already -__-"")

so if they have that shitty contract, at least they'd be able to earn a little money right ???



need to start studying

especially french

it's like, might as well s/u it already

can't make it lol

just too lazy this sem

already dreaming about spring break

can't wait for this to be over

can't wait for holidays
i'd go to work asap
and earn as much as i can
so that i can buy the stuff that i want

fujifilm instax (cheki brown)
macbook pro
diving lessons

and of course
since SHINee is prolly gonna make a comeback in Apr/May/June
(hopefully in June though. alot of pple are saying that's it's in apr, but they just ended their y.o.u promo, plus onew's musical is during april, and if they comeback in april i think he'll just die. he's recent appearances show him looking tired out, poor thing)

i need to prepare the dough to buy all the merchandise that will come and to buy the album (finally not a mini album but a legit full length one)
omg their poster(s), the repackaged album (staple of sm albums), the random stuff that comes along
O___O
saw their stickers today (ezlink card size)
but i curbed my temptation
coz it's all five members, and i only want onew's (and maybe key's)
anyways i need to save the money to buy stuff from their next comeback LOL

oh yeah and i'd need to prepare money to pay for the school fees for the next school year
wanna get a perm weekend job
so that even when school opens i'd still have a job
it's horrid when every month you see the money going out of your account and nothing goes in
dwindling bit by bit
i want as least some thing to come in

sighs
gotta work hard when you're poor, unmotivated, untalented and lazy
LOL

sleepy day

today is one of those days where time just seems to go super slowly
i fell asleep everywhere

i fell asleep on the train ride to school, even when i didn't want to, and ended up in a super unglam position with my head totally tilted all the way back and my mouth open
i fell asleep during lecture whilst writing
i fell asleep whilst waiting for class to start
i fell asleep during class discussion
i fell asleep on the train ride back home and missed my stop again
and i feel like falling asleep now when it's not even 2am yet (my usual sleeping time)

i think i actually can sleep more than normal people
like normal pple sleep less than 8 hours and i can sleep more than 12 hours
LOL half the day
i slept for the whole day before
and i woke up the next morning still feeling sleepy, but i was hungry, and wasting another day sleeping would be horrible so i forced myself to wake up
it's not like i do alot
or that i stay up late
or that i don't get enough sleep
i just like to sleep alot

maybe i should start exercising to gain more energy
or eat healthier

sleepy

weird

i was waiting for the train to go back home
and as the train was coming
i suddenly felt an urge to just take 2 steps forward
to find out how it will feel
imgs of me being hit, the feeling of my bones breaking
the reaction of the other passengers and the driver
it all flashed in my head
then i thought, "you would have to die to find out how it feels"

i fell asleep on the train
and halfway through
i suddenly woke up, and i forgot whether i was going to school or home
LOL
then i saw the direction the train is going
and remembered that i just went for lessons
so i fell back to sleep again

when i woke up, i had missed my stop

this is a weird journey back

one last pic

LOL
i suddenly saw this
and though i dun usually like jonghyun
this pic is just cute LOL their aegyo

and therefore i dedicate this to sharmin whom likes minho


and pple were saying that jonghyun hates s'pore
wells, you love some, you hate some
even i have moments where i hate s'pore
so i can't blame him
and besides
when they departed from s'pore the last time
the fans mobbed them as the barricades weren't up
and fans tried to grab them, inadvertently scratching them along the way
and they made my dear onew fall (what's more he had a sprained ankle when he came to s'pore, he might not have healed completely yet)
HOW COULD THEY !!!!!
AAAHHHHH
when i heard it my heart sank
seriously i just can't stand some fan girls
so jonghyun
hate s'pore all you want
just keep visiting us, that's all that matters to me coz Onew is all i care about
LOL

anyways i don't think he really hates s'pore
i think it's more likely that he's finds it too warm here

Onew

From this,

LOL

And these,

^will love this boy forever

To now

omg his adams apple is damn hot LOL

And this

this picture killed me

and it kills me everytime i use my phone

i will be a fan of him for as long as he needs one

LOL

he's really become a real hottie eh ?

from the young boy look till now

Monday no like Monday

today feels like it ain't the start of a new week

coz i've been "working hard" during the weekends

i didn't rest, and therefore there's no feeling of monday blues

SHINee's showcase was great and not so great at the same time

i was expecting more

coz they said it was gonna be for 1 hour

and coz mayday's supposed showcase/free concert was like the best

i was expecting more

HAHA

and it started raining when they came

so i was standing in the rain, holding my umbrella, staring at onew, and smiling like an idiot

LOL

and before that i was standing, with some other girls, on a ledge which i was not supposed to stand on

so onew kinda looked in our direction quite alot

LOL he must have took pity on us

standing in the rain

on an unstable ledge

or he must think we're crazy

but the security guard chased us down

but i still stood in the rain and coz it was just impossible to see them if i get in the crowd

but

they are hot as hell

onew

omg

he's been working out alot

can see

was just spending 95% of my time staring at him

1% on getting down the ledge

4% on the rest of the members when onew was outta my view

i tried taking photos

epic failure

this is the only pic that you can see anything

the others are like

masses of blur

LOL

and onew !!! there ! proof of him looking in our direction (my delusion)

and see the plant ? it's coz i was standing in a box with plants in them LOL

oh yeah and weishan told me today that i was using the wrong mode to take pics

i had accidentally switched it to landscape mode wtf

LOL epic failure

and they sang 3 songs

replay, jojo, than ringdingdong

just like in the s.e.a

sighs

onew

damn hot

oh yeah, and key looks great with his new hair,

and jonghyun looks better than expected,

and taemin omg he's really pretty and he looks WAY better than in any photos i've seen of him,

and minho, what can i say, tall, slim, model look

but Onew is the best of course

and of coz he flashed his signature smile to all the swooning fangirls

i think he's running on pure adrenalin

he looks tired, but hyper at the same time

sighs

though i didn't see him up close

i'm glad to be able to see him from afar

and he sings damn fine

esp during jojo omg damn hot

ok i shall stop obsessing

need to start work

term papers coming soon

hope they come again, and during spring break

so that i can go all out and queue up as early as the most "worthy" fangirls

LOL

or i hope that they can do a mini concert and sell the tics

not on sistic though

my internet not that fast

can sell at some mall

and i'd queue up damn early

hope hope hope

positive thoughts *om*

just woke up

from a very long nap
feel much better now
in fact am feeling anxious and excited and less negative abt the event tmr

HAHA
yar i really hope i can see them

i was just doing the calculations
for this one hour showcase they're gonna get $105000.
wow
it's really rather good moolah
that's why they should just bring more pple into s'pore
even though it's a small country
people are really willing to spend quite alot to meet them

ok
i think i need to go sleep again
need to go imm at 8am to queue up again -__-''
i really hope the venue is not as small as it looks

back frm imm

disclaimer : this is a negative post, might have been caused due to a lack of sleep. They're all just my personal views, i don't really want to fuck anyone (eww i'm straight ty) nor do i want anyone to die or suffer (but if they do, i'd not feel any worse off), so pls, if any random person actually reads this, if you bash me you're just a loser taking a cheap shot at people. and if you're reading this as my friend, you prolly know me enough to think whatever you wanna think of me. Thank You.


overall, queueing overnight turned out fine
some fans were taking down pple's names and queue numbers and checking that no one cuts queue throughout the night
it wasn't very warm
and i made friends with the pple around me
and i had quite a nice sleep on my mat
and they started selling the album on time

what i felt irritated came afterwards
when the few fans who were taking down the names b4 said that THEY don't want pple to stay overnight at IMM and therefore they say that we should all follow the queue number that we got

ok, i do appreciate that they tried to do something to regulate the event
and that if they didn't do what they did many pple would prolly start cutting queue/joining their friends
but seriously even w/o them it would have still worked
as there were less than 3k fans (which means no need to fight)
the barricades set up were already common sensical enought to follow
so seriously what they did was rather redundant

and the most impt thing is
who gave them the right to decide that we can't queue overnight till sunday ?
hurh
they say they dun want us to stay overnight
but what i think is the main reason is that they want to safeguard their queue position (top 10) as they're going for the s'pore awards show later in the evening
and they know that if they go for the event they won't be the top 10 in the queue to get into the showcase as there are pple (like me) who are not going for s.e.a, and who plan to queue there before the s.e.a ends
to get a better chance at actually seeing shinee during the showcase

and they even got some mother to explain
and she was like saying "you know the sacrifices that you have to make to follow your idols, and those pple who came to queue earlier and took the effort to help out were obviously sacrificing more and therefore are justified to be at the front in the event"
FUCK OFF MOTHERFUCKER
wtf i became pissed off hearing her drone on abt this issue when no one's listening
seriously the only ones who are happy abt this arrangement are those that are going for the s.e.a, or adam lambert event or having camp or those who're unwilling to queue for another night
BUT I WAS PLANNING TO DO THAT
omg
so i'm not a worthy fan ?
i cannot see them up close because i got school the other day, and i'm a responsible student for not missing school ?
and what about the others whose parents didn't allow them to queue overnight and therefore cld only come to buy the tic in the morning ?

yar of course, our parents don't support us, we have other responsibilities to fulfil, we have less money and resources to show our adoration to our idols makes us less worthy fans

and those whose parents even came over are worthier fans ?
those who queue up 2 days to buy the album are worthier fans ?

it's this sort of stupid thinking that makes me thank god that i'm a mature, rational, logical, all-rounded thinker
and not a myopic thinker who thinks that they are better then everyone

wtf i'm just irritated at myself for not queueing up earlier to get a better seat
maybe i should have just skipped school for 2 days to queue up for this, that would be a big sacrifice, i would be such a great fan -__-

i hope they die

ok that's mean

i hope they do not succeed in life
shit ruined my plans

i'm #503, 502 people are worthier fans than me, the others are less worthy then me wow i'm so proud

fuck i will not get to see them, the space is so small that 300 fans would basically block the whole view of the stage already much less 502, and the stage is friggin small

urgh
i hope i get to see onew at least
but i guess i might not be worthy enough
i'm just a loser you know

wish me luck

soon i'd be making my way down to IMM

aigoo
and the worst thing that could happen to me happened
my period came
AGAIN
zomg it just ended last week
and it's here again
my god
is it to compensate for the more than 3 mths that i didn't get it ?
shitass

i just hope that the one queueing behind and infront of me are nice peeps
so that i can go change pad
otherwise i dunno what to do
-___-""
but i'm not gonna give up
(:

and maybe it's coz of pms that i'm so irrational
HAHAHA but it feels good (:

preparation

was just thinking about what to prepare for both nights
and i suddenly thought
"what about brushing teeth ?"
omg
i dun want smelly breath
will brush before leaving and try not to consume anything that'll give me bad breath
omg it'll be my first time doing something like this
i don't know what to expect, i just hope i'd come out of this whole thing unscathed
i'm really scared of crazy fan girls and boys
the violence
O____O
i'm a very docile person k LOL
hope they'd see my face and not try to bully me
otherwise i'd go crazy

anyways
i didn't sleep last night
but i feel fine
hmmm
training for the overnight queueing
LOL

on another note
i can't wait for tmr to end, it's just too tiring
although it's the week after recess week in which i've rested alot
it feels like this week just added 10 yrs to my age
aigoo soon i'd be an 80 yr old granny



omg i just read the forum and someone said that there's people queueing at IMM already
that's just crazy
CRAZY !!!
I WANT TO SEE THEM SHIT

hmmm
i'm having abdomenal pains (like menstrual cramp)
but my period just ended little more than a week ago
wierd

mind made up

ok i've decided to queue overnight for the showcase
not buying a tic for the awards show is saddening enough
I WILL GET TO SEE THEM
i'm just scared that they'll not come back again
and if i have to be smelly and stinky so be it
everyone there will be too (considering how warm it is these few days)

and because of this distraction
i won't be able to sleep tonight as i'm stuck on the second paragraph of the essay

i'm going to type at the speed of light with no regards to what the hell i'm saying

good night

skipped lecture today

to try to start and finish my essay

but i've not typed a thing till now
fuck i was distracted T-T

omg i dun even know where to start
the question is so simple
but i dunno how the hell to start it

and the SHINee showcase, alot of pple at the forums are like saying if dun stay overnight won't be able to get a tic one

contemplating whether i should
AHH i hate this

ok i'm really tempted to queue overnight
really really tempted

regular day in school

it's really boring
and i've not started on any of my work
and i need to submit the essay this thursday morning
but i don't even feel like starting

this sem is weird
i feel extremely unmotivated to do any work
unlike the previous sem where i'd try to start
i'm not even trying this sem

sighs

and i've not started exercising shit

hope i can get to buy a place in SHINee's showcase

ok
i've officially wasted my whole recess break
wanted to exercise ... failed
wanted to catch up on readings ... failed
needed to do my 1 mid term take home test essay .. didn't even start
wanted to rest more ... Passed with flying colours

aigoo

i've planned what to do on saturday and sunday already
i refuse and am not able to queue up overnight at the fucking-far-from-my-home-place-called-IMM
and the earliest train on saturday is 0552
so if i take that train i'd reach at about 0730
ok fuck that's damn late, if there's more than 3000 pple than i'd go home and cry
if there's less than i'd faster line up and buy the album :D
then the next day
the first train is 0612 which means i'd reach at around 0800
and then if there are not many pple i'd smile and feel happy whilst looking at glimpses of their foreheads whilst they sing
and if there're loads of pple there already i'd cry and go there and see the top of pple's head whilst they sing

basically i'm remaining rather pessimistic as i'm not gonna queue up overnight which automatically means my view's gonna suck like shit coz there are tons of crazy shinee fangirls who'll start to queue up from 11pm the previous day
but i just refuse to be some smelly and sticky shit whilst being so close to those lovely people

sighs ((:

ZOMG

SHINee will be having a showcase on 14th March at IMM !!!
for first 3000 who buys their album ($35) on 13th March at the same place
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
planning what to do already

should i go ? should i not go ...
it's gonna be a 1 hr affair where they sing and dance and talk a little
and $35 for 1hr where i might not even get to see their foreheads LOL
omg
not like it really matters right ?
but then it might matter ...
and why the hell must it be in the west again ??? wtf it's not like they're living in a hotel in the west rite (west got what hotel pls wtf) why can't they have it at central area ? then fair for everyone omg shitassamajig AH
gosh distracted

it might suffice to just watch fancams on youtube later on right ?
but then
urgh ):

i just woke up

that's why i love recess week
i can sleep and wake up at whatever time i want

((:

shall read something today

random

Vespa is Love

So are these two, especially the one on the left (:

today doesn't feel like a monday

it feels like a weekend

wierd

it's march already

it doesn't feel so late

exams are in april

i need to start studying

and i shall stop obsessing soon

even though they're cute as hell

i do not think it's worth it to put in so much time/money into them

Onew

i just need to get over this longing

lol

INGRID MICHAELSON - "The Way I Am" - (official music video)

such an ideal kinda love
"coz I, love the way you say good morning"
"coz i love you more than i could ever promise"

i love the song
but i think that what she's singing about is too ideal

on another note
I realise kpop fans can be quite crazy
there's this sense of desperation about them
I don't get why they're like that

it's finally friday

i can't wait for mid-term break nxt week
:D :D :D
happy
even though i have to go back on monday and friday for make up classes
it's better than nothing :)

french mid term test tmr
luckily it's only written
but then i still am tolly not sure about the whole thing
what conjugate, articles
de, des, de la, du
un, une
whatever

je ne comprend pas

shall just die tmr
AHAHAHAHA
and then on wednesday is the much dreaded culture midterm
which readings i have not really touched
and is already forming a mountain as there are both lecture and tutorial readings
and some of them in old-ish language (omg pierre bourdieu kills me wtf habitus ?!?!)
zomg

there's also gonna be a take home test
two essays to be done through the recess week
but i have this strong feeling that it'll be harder than the culture one
so yar
recess week is but a week to catch up on all the work and go crazy writing stupid essays
but i still feel happy :)
coz i dun have to wake up early and travel to that friggin campus

AHAHAHA
and kfc's egg tarts are yummy omo
they're the portugese egg tarts
their pastry is extra crispy :))
but they're extra oily too
and i nose bled after eating two
(i've not nose bled for a damn long time)
so it can't be good for you

oh yeah and swimming sessions with ws and deb has been going fine
even though i'm more of just struggling there, but ws says that as long as i can complete the stipulated laps for the diving lessons i'd be fine
so i'm just going to struggle there and take my own sweet time to finish the laps
LOL
and i need to learn how to tread water soon, always drowning in the middle of the lap
x___x

shall try to settle down and study during the recess week

mid-term crisis

i have 3/4 mid-term tests in the coming week (i'm not even sure)
but i've not studied for any of them
lazy
i dun even know what the hell i've learned
my god
in fact there's one tmr
and i dun really plan on studying for it
freak

and i have a headache now
aish will try to read something now

lunar new year

this year's celebration is a rather quiet one
there's the standard houses that we're visiting
the standard ang pows to collect
the standard faces
standard greetings
standard clothes (i didn't buy new clothes, cldn't find fitting ones T__T)
standard food

boring
i dun get what's the big deal about cny
or maybe it's coz my family's just really boring
and i hate some of my relatives and are not close with the rest
and that i have no new clothes
and that my mum decided not to cook or buy any goodies this year
and that i have a friggin big pimple
and that i'm getting too old

tsk
i need to start revitalizing myself

Azumanga Daioh- Osaka Allergies

it's really friggin retarded and funny
go watch it
http://www.animeseason.com/azumanga-daioh/

Azumanga Daioh Osaka Oh My GAH

LOL LOL LOL
omg damn funny
neco

before school

going to school soon for french
today's lecture is e-lecture
which is great coz i really hate that module
then going to buy swimming suit with weishan
coz we're gonna go swimming and she's gonna teach me how to tread water
lol
coz we wanna learn diving, and one of the req is to be able to tread water for 10 mins
and to swim for 300m
and i can't swim for nuts (like, i try to swim, but i just stay at the same spot, and i cannot bring my head up to breathe when doing all the diff strokes)
so yeah
feeling a little embarrased about showing off my thunder thighs
but i really wanna learn diving

ok i really dun feel like going to sch, i love slacking at home

i have decided to stop obsessing over SHINee
one mth is enough already
i was thinking, if onew was not in shinee, and i actually knew of him, wld i like him that much
i dun think i will
becoz he is after all a normal person and one that's not w/in my grasps lol

this sem's modules are all rather complex
but two of em are really interesting
especially cultures
economics is not bad imo
but the impt thing is whether i can score for them or not
already lagging behind in the culture readings, and there's a mountain load of them already
shall spend more time reading and less on youtube
and make more effort for french, i'm actually really interested in doing well for that (for the 1st time in my life i actually am interested in school stuff)
and try to get "doing social research" kns i totally lost

i'm feeling studious
hope this lasts

shineerocksmyworldfornow

they're coming to singapore
but i'm not gonna see them at all
they might not come back to singapore
but i won't go see them

i won't

i will go exercise on that day
lose weight
and let my heart bleed out
lose more weight
do something for myself

i am rational
their autographs mean nothing
just look at the davidtao autograph
it's there
rotting away
and i dislike him now

autographs do nothing to make me like them or their songs more
i will still obsess about them, esp onew, even if i will never get to see them in my whole life
not like they will remember me
or that they'll really care whether i'm there or not
even if i'm trampled to death by the fangirls they also won't care (ok maybe they will, but only for a split sec when someone tells them abt it and they think, "we have crazy fans in sg", then go on with their lifes)
so i shall go do something for myself
i'm happy that i'm on the same island as them for the 4.5 days they're here
:)

i am a rational, 20-going-to-21, understanding shinee auntie fan, who enjoys supporting them, w/o feeling a need to meet them in real life, or for them to ever see/know/hear/appreciate me.

thank you

i feel so at peace now knowing that i'm not going
i was so stressed when i heard abt it and then later saw that i had to buy another album there with the special fansigning pass to see them and there was only 1000 of them
but now
aaahhh
AHAHAHA why shld i stress myself, or fight with those fangirls on that day just to see a bunch of really cute kids who will never remember me ?

i'm at peace ... OM~

Persepolis - Eye of the Tiger

LOL
loved the graphic novel

happy

i'm feeling really contented now
munching on some guava
relaxed because there's no school tomorrow

french seriously confuses me
everyone seems to be getting it except for me
the teacher even asked whether it was my first lesson today
:( what is conjugate anyway ???
sighs will work hard to get it
it's seriously not worth s/u-ing

i'm just typing this as i'm waiting for a video to load
so i know it's really nothing much interesting
but yeah
nothing else to do online

i hate growing up
i hate new year's day
i hate my birthday
i can never really be happy during these two dates
i've felt this way since young, i remember crying at night at the prospect of me growing old, and my parents growing old and dying
i really wonder why people get so happy on new yr's and their bdays
-____-"
do they really want to finish school, and go out to work, pay debt after debt (esp the middle class people), do whatever else they do in life, then grow old, retire, wait for death, and die
i do not want to grow up
but i cannot stop time
i am but nobody, in the bigger scheme of things

omg my mood totally swinged from happy to emo through this post lol
but yeah, that's how i am
i feel emo and contented at the same time
i'm full of crap
lol
shall go watch the vid now

ranting

i often wished that i was born in a well-to-do family
or that my family now is well-to-do
than i can do so many things i want to do
buy the things that i want
go overseas and experience foreign culture
get my farm


i'm starting to lead less of a loner school life :)
HAHAHA
especially with the return of wei shan from india
meet her sometimes for lunch
and also when going home
and today i hung out with one of my nicer course mates
she had 4 hr break and i had 3
(i have damn long breaks this sem, utter waste of time, urgh, and it's 5-day week, and what's more the tutorial schedule for 2 of my core mods will be pushed back from schedule for 1-2 weeks due to the screwed up timetable and the public holidays)
i got a really good timetable last sem, and this sem i have the worse kind
but at least it gave me a chance to hang out with that course mate LOL

and french is totally traumatising me
the teacher came in during the first tutorial and started spouting french O___O""
and i was rather blur, and just trying to say the words correctly
omg it's hard
i think i'm linguistically retarded as well
i realise i cannot speak properly, and i pick up foreign language very slowly
aish
but i actually am really interested in doing well for french
it's interesting :)

appeal for korean mod was rejected T-T
nvr mind
shall try to get it next sem

i'm still very much in the holiday mood

the Romeo cd (SHINee) that i ordered were finally shipped out today
FINALLY
supposed to be on 12th but drag until today
i already wait until buey tahan already
urgh
now just need to wait 4-14 days for it to come to my house
i hope that it is closer to 4 days -___-""
than i can get to see their handsome mug in the pictorial book :)
AHAHAHAHA can't wait already

Azumanga Daioh

I love this anime
it's just so lame, and meaningless
just what my life needs

new semester

even with all the familiar faces
the occassional smiles directed at me
i feel more alone than before

sometimes it's great to be a loner in school
not being restrained by others
not needing to bother to try to be liked by the people (all of them are not my style, no chemistry LOL)

but it just feels bad to not have something to look forward to
or not to have someone to lame around with
or not to have someone to complain/comment about the lecturer/tutor/course/life

sighs
i hope that this is a sign that my period is coming
although i do not enjoy having it
not having it for more than 3 months worries me (i didn't have it last sem at all)

ok that's tmi
not going for lecture tmr
can't be bothered

randomness songs

I love honey stars !
because they're tasty ~
They are yummy scrummy crunchy little stars ~
(this song stops abruptly, causing an awkward moment where people seem to wanna kill me, i don't sing it often, only to myself)

Starry Starry Night ~ (echo ~) x2
everything's so starry
everything's so beau-ti-fulllll (woooo)

Show how you get the formula-lalala ~

I need to pee (pee x6) ~

Where did it go ? The little rubber band ~
Is it on the table or on the floor ~
Did iii-t run, all the way to the beach, all the way to the sea, and off to France

I am rotting away ~
Just rotting away ~
I am rotting away ~
In this very room ~

In old pokemon theme song tune :
Hairy Bikers !
every biker has a choice
to be fat or not to be fat
they can eat all the bad stuff
or choose to eat all the good stuff
THEEEYYY HAVE A CHOICE
they can choose to be fat
they can choose to be fit
they caaaan choose what they want
they caaan beee fit
BUT THEY ARE FAT
(lyrics are made up as i go on, it is different everytime i sing it, even the subject might change eg. I may sing about my brother's stinky hair, ... etc.)

HAHAHA laming around
just wanted to reminisce on the random impromtu 'songs' that i came up with in the past
apparently i was doing it since secondary school
coz my sec sch friends said i came up with a lameded song as well
but i don't really recall the song, lousy memory you know
maybe i am just unconsciously blocking out the embarrasing memories
but i remember the songs above

what's most important is that they keep me entertained

SHINee is starring in another reality show, where they take care of a baby
hmm
by the time all the episodes come out, and gets subbed, it should be in the midst of the summer holidays
HAHAHAHAHA that'll be a great time to obsess about them again
motivation to study hard LOL

1st day of school

was uber boring
ugh the lecturers were both foreign, and their accents makes me want to sleep
just looking at the course name ... Doing Social Research... urks me to no ends
i HATE needing to talk to random people to get info out of them
that's the biggest put off in Sociology for me... i'm looking for one sociology module where i would not have to interact with people ...
AHAHAHAHA
put up an appeal for korean module today
AHAHAHA wish me luck
i put the reason for appeal as a recently developed interest in korean music and variety programs
AHAHAHA omo the person looking at it must be like -___-""" must be another fangirl type LOL
but they're WRONG

I'm auntiefan

SHINeefanauntie to be exact
omg can't wait for their romeo mini album to come... it'll only arrive next week i think.... they look damn good in that album LOL

bad hair

i think i need to cut my hair short during the holidays
very short, tempted to shave it off and coop myself at home watching shinee vids LOL
but need to work, and looking like a mental retard won't help me get any jobs
my hair's just tooo damaged
i just went to trim it yesterday, and after that i could find split ends already
today i checked again, and i found that there were still tons of split ends
it's beyond the point of saving

sighs
i hate my wire-ry hair

timetable

omg
FIVE DAY WEEK
and i wanted to take 6 courses, but i only got 5, the rest cannot make it
and i got French -___-"""
would have preferred the soci course
omg and the exam dates are like
one after the other
French on monday 5pm then next morning 9am got core mod exam
feel like dropping the french course (totally screwed up the choices) but then i would not have enough courses then
urgh
gonna appeal
hope to get into another course
tempted by korea lang course LOL so that i can understand what SHINee is singing ...
URGH
feeling damn sian now

new year's resolutions

1) Not gain weight. I think i gained 4kg during this shitass holidays, i gain weight too easily, i've stopped eating fast food for 2 weeks already and i hope i don't go back... craving a mcspicy now.

2) Study harder. Like, at least get all my readings done.

3) Be more conherent, in speech and writing. I realise that i'm talking and writing more and more gibberish, need to improve my ...... i don't know what's the word for it, damn.

4) Be happy. And try to talk to my course mates and stop being so outcast loner in school.

5) Get nicer clothes.

hmmm, looks achievable accept for the study harder part...

tired

omg went walking at mount faber
walked all the way from some canopy walk
to a horticulture park (which was really really nice omo)
to treetop walk
finally to mount faber
along the way i fell down omg shitass damn clumsy
i didn't see the step, i just saw flat ground
but then there was a step
scraped my knee
i hate the grosseded scab that forms in these sorta wounds
shit ass too clumsy
from young i've been falling down alot till now wtf
maybe my ass to big that's why my center of balance is off

i think that's the reason ... tsk

the whole walk took like .... forever
was like 6-7 km or so
but there were tons of stairs going uphill
and we took a wrong turn -____-" so walked longer uphill
urgh
i'm damn unhealthy already, need to exercise
next month maybe going for macritchie treetop walk
which i heard was really long and quite tiring too
-____-"""
just hope i don't fall down again

but i finally got to eat my bibimbab
omg i craved for a few weeks already
yummy
i love it
:) :) :)

yeps
i'm just rambling now
cheerios